(set: $monster to 0)(set: $human to 0)(set: $password to false)(set: $trust to 0)(set: $ellis to false)(set: $status to "null")(set: $handwriting to (font: "Mynerve"))(track: 'default', 'loop', true)(track: 'default', 'play')(set: $name to "Jules")In darkness thick like a stifled wound's purulence, the spawn of something rotten stirs. (live: 2s)[For every moment suffocating in emptiness, their desire for a host grows.] (live: 4s)[The half-formed creatures hunger for the rush of wind and adrenaline, vicious claws to gut this world, gaping mouths to consume, and to feel alive.]
(live:6s)[Blindly, they'll crawl inside the nearest warm host and take hold. The full moon rises, and the parasites writhe, frenzied by the light. They reach out, uncaring of what they encounter. Pity upon [[the one who crosses their path tonight]].]You wake and recoil from the stench. It's nasty. It's sharp in your nose and the back of your throat, pervading the air as you gag in disgust. You raise your hands to cover the lower half of your face but instantly regret that, seeing that your hands are covered in mud and who knows what else. Grime is smeared all over your clothes from the asphalt that you're lying on. Nausea and an ache in your right ankle slow you as you sit up and [look around.]<setting|(click-append: ?setting) [
Daylight blurs through the not quite opaque gray walls around you. You're in a plastic shed that stores garbage. Several rectangular trash bins are eye-level to you, huffing out their vile breath into the space. One of them has a streak of oily, dark brown liquid dripping down its side and pooling near your feet. You don't want to stay any longer. There's a stained plastic door that hopefully leads to fresh air.
[[Try the door.]] ]“Sure”
“When’s a good time?”
The two of you decide to meet in a cafe the day after tomorrow. On a whim, you go to the kitchen and look at the calendar. The moon phase on that day is still waxing gibbous. You hope to find some answers with Ellis, but for now, you're going to look around your house to see if anything else rings bells or provides a reason for why you can't remember anything.
[[Explore the house.]]As far as you can remember, this is your first time being around people. There was that time you walked back from the plaza, but people weren't completely surrounding you then. Now, you feel like a part of the scene, and something about that scares you. But you know how to do this. Kind of.
Ellis is waiting for you at a table inside the cafe when you arrive. He has large eyes, almost bulging out of his head, and you find this an endearing trait. They follow you around anxiously, so expressive with their worry for you. After the two of you exchange pleasantries and order light sandwiches and coffee, you get talking. Ellis, naturally, is concerned about where you've been. Apparently, you haven't talked much since that night in the woods, when you went hiking during the full moon and caught an unknown illness. You think about whether you should tell the truth to Ellis. How should you break the news to him?
[["I've been feeling under the weather."|"I've been feeling under the weather, that's all."]]
[["I can't remember anything about myself."]]At first you only see translucent trash bags dumped in a pile, filling the trash can about halfway up. Then you look more intently and notice a dark shape on top of the bags, not inside any of them. Curious, you lean closer. It's a piece of cloth.
You pull it out, wondering where you got it. Your headache worsens as you look at the scrap of cloth, but it’s more than just a headache. There’s a strange pressure in the back of your mouth. Nausea growing, you hold back the sour bile that wells up in your throat. Even your bones ache. The pain sinks into the roots of your teeth. Your hands are sweaty and slip as you run your fingers through the cloth's folds. The infection site on your ankle feels feverish.
One edge of the cloth is sealed by a tightly stitched seam. The other edges are rough, loose threads dangling from them and catching in your nails, unkempt from being ripped off a larger piece of fabric. The cloth is thin and has a generic flannel pattern. You realize that it was part of a shirt. You’re almost certain you’ve seen this shirt in a store before, maybe Malmart.
[[But that’s not the only place you’ve seen it.]](set: $human to $human + 1)You didn't eat him after all. Even though the parasite inside you was calling for it, desperate to feed, and you were so tempted, you didn't land the kill. It's clear now.
You had been at Agora, having run miles through the forest in the middle of the night to reach there. The man had crossed your path, and feeling the urge to hunt, you took him into your hands, into your lengthening claws. He struggled. And bled. But at the last moment, ashamed and disgusted, you forced yourself to let him go. Terrified, you found an isolated place to hide- a garbage shed.
He lives. You're relieved, but this does not diminish your fear for having these feelings in the first place.
On the verge of tears, you throw the shirt back in the trash and [[run]] out of your house.You didn't kill him after all.
You remember it now. In the middle of the night, driven by something part of you but not quite you, underneath the waxing moonlight, you ran for miles, racing through the forest until you reached Agora. Then, you hunted, waiting for prey to find their unlucky end in you. The perfect meal had been there- a man, alone, whistling to himself on an empty street. You grabbed him, fought with him, and almost devoured him. Pumped with adrenaline from his fear and shock, he pulled himself out of your grasp and ran. Before he turned the corner away from you, you came to your senses. Dazed, you wandered around Agora before having a breakdown in a garbage shed.
You're disgusted with yourself. Maybe it's disgust at the urge to kill. Or maybe it's disgust that you couldn't finish the job.
Throwing the shirt back in the trash, you [[run]] from your home.(set: $monster to $monster +1)You killed him.
You killed someone.
You know you did. In the middle of the night, driven by something beyond yourself, you ran miles through the forest all the way to Agora. There, your restlessness and cravings drove you to hunt.
The man stumbled into your path, you feasted, and you wanted to run through the buildings to search for more prey. But the first door you entered led to that garbage shed.
In a frenzy of hunger and pain, ravenous for human flesh, you didn't have self control and didn't want to. The parasite inside you crept up from your ankle, spread through your veins, infected your brain, and puppeted you. And there was blood, and you loved it, and you still crave it.
Horrified, you throw down the shirt and [[run]] from your house.In your left pants pocket, there's a phone. It's smaller than your hand and has a simple black case. The screen protector is wrinkled in one corner. Trails of grease and specks of dirt are smeared across the screen, to your disgust. You try to wipe it clean against your shirt, but you don't know how much that helps, since your shirt is also dirty.
In your right pocket, there's a wallet. It's dark brown, bulging slightly, and made of plastic. There are a few bills and scraps of paper sticking out of its sides, but it's not too full. Also in the right pocket, tucked next to the wallet, is a thin key.
[[Examine the phone closer.]]
[[Examine the wallet closer.]]Inside are a [[notebook]], a [[napkin]], a [[drawing]], and a [[printout]].
(if: (visited:"drawing")is true and (visited:"notebook") is true and (visited:"printout") is true and (visited:"napkin") is true)[ [[Move on.]] ](track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'default', 'play')You're scared of getting sicker, but you know you're not going to die. The parasites will do something worse to you. They'll stay in your head and drive you mad, mutate your genes, and use you to appease their hunger. When the full moon comes, the infection will reach its peak, and you will be transformed, like that werewolf you encountered in the forest. It seems inevitable. How are you supposed to prepare at all? Still, given a full day, something must be done. You decide to spend the day calming yourself, gathering your senses, and collecting items that will help you during the upcoming ordeal.
Maybe you should buy some more steak to eat. That creature in the forest last night was desperate, and you remember how hungry you felt when you were in Agora on that dreadful night. You don't want to feel like that again. Some fresh meat would satisfy you.
Or maybe you should get a first aid kit, in case you get hurt. Lately, you've been feeling unstable, and the kit will help if your condition worsens.
There's even the possibility of finding an old photo album, something that reminds you of your past. It stirs up clouded memories from before you were infected. It was only a month ago, but during this brief period, you feel like a lifetime has passed. The album might keep your hopes up.(if: $trust > 1)[
Or, instead of getting anything, you could call Ellis and ask him to come over. He would be happy to stay with you. He is someone you have come to trust, someone who makes you feel safe.]
[[Buy meat.]]
[[Buy a first aid kit.]]
[[Find a photo album.]]
(if: $trust >1)[ [[Call Ellis.]]](set: $monster to $monster +1)Stepping out of the door, you feel relieved. The sky is splattered by stars, and the waxing moon hangs down like a bright jewel from a spider-thin thread. Light fills you with wanting, or agony. It's hard to tell the difference.
Stepping on twigs and wet grass, you breathe in and out, moving with the trees in the breeze. You feel at peace here. Each step you take calls for your awareness. You walk carefully and lightly. You are alone but not alone, because bugs are creeping in places that you can't see, plants are growing centimeter by centimeter, and larger creatures are prowling somewhere in the shadows.
The light from distant stars streams into your eyes and you get a sudden rush of energy. On impulse, you go from walking to jogging to running to sprinting between the trees, going as fast as you can, pinesap in your lungs and cool sweat on your forehead. Your feet carry you for what feels like miles.
Time disappears. You are alive. You shout as loud as you can because there is no one to hear you. You collapse to your knees when you are tired.
The forest floor is cold. You do not want to go. The ferns are soft and embrace you, rustling their fragile fingers. They want to keep you. Somehow, you fall asleep right there, hidden among the ferns.
Later, you wake. You do not know how much time has passed, but the sky is still dark. You get to your feet and creep home, just another animal nosing through the treees.
[[Another day.]](set: $human to $human +1)The ceiling stares back at you as you continue being awake. You toss and turn, changing positions so much that you get dizzy. The covers are weaving between your limbs and sticking to you, then rotating into awkward positions and almost falling off the bed.
You're supposed to be here. You're supposed to be doing this, so why can't you just fall asleep? Frustrated, you rub your eyes and curl into a ball. This home is meant to be a refuge, but you feel stuck.
After hours, your exhaustion finally beats your agitated mind, and you fall asleep, dreaming of fast things that move quickly among the weeds and squirming worm-like creatures that burrow into you. When you wake, you do not feel at ease, but at least you managed to shut your eyes for a while.
[[Another day.]] A branch collapses onto the ground, spraying leaves and dew onto your face. As you wipe it off, your eyes widen in terror. The beast stands before you.
It's bipedal and taller than a man. Rearing up, its eyes meet yours. They are definitely human eyes, yet distorted with fury and unfocused. Covered from head to toe in fur, its movements send moonlight cascading in silver waves down its body. Its claws are thick and long, and it has the snout of a wolf.
You think, while you're still frozen in shock: it's beautiful.
Then there is no more time for thoughts, because you're running for your life back the way you came, your heart beating faster than it ever has before, legs burning with the effort. You don't even look behind you or down at your feet, pure fear driving you forward. You bolt out of the forest, throw yourself at your front door, slam it shut behind you, and keep running until you're at the back of the house, cowering against the wall.
[[Continue.]]After pushing the door a few times, it doesn't budge. It must be locked from the outside. You circle around the trash shed a few times, covering your nose with your elbow. How did you get in here? What are you doing here?
There's no other way out. This shed has a roof, so even though the walls are low and cramped around you, it's impossible to climb out. No other windows or cracks in the walls are present. Perhaps, if you push the door hard enough, the lock or its flimsy hinges will give way. The door might break, but you could get out. You're not sure what's on the other side and if it's a public space or not. You could call for help, but you're not sure if anyone would hear you. You don't know how long it would take for someone to release you.
[[Shove the door.]]
[[Call for help.]](set: $monster to $monster +1)You press your shoulder against the door and push with all the strength you have. Nothing happens. (live:2s)[Backing up a few steps, you run at it and repeat the move. The shed shudders, but the door holds.](live:4s)[ Frustrated, you slam the sides of your fists into it, beating it until the thuds echo around you. In a last burst of energy, putting all your weight into it, you kick at the hinges. As your foot drops back to the ground with a shot of pain, the hinges creak and give out.
The door tilts over and collapses on the ground. You step over it to [[get out.]]](set: $human to $human + 1)"Hello? Is-" your voice cracks and dies. You clear your throat and try again.
"Is anyone there? Let me out!"
(live:2s)[You go on shouting. Once, twice, three times . . . ear pressed against a dingy wall, you listen for any sign that anyone can hear you. An already dry throat gets worse as you keep calling out.]
(live:4s)["Please-"]
(live:5s)[Footsteps race up. Keys jangle, and someone wearing a uniform apron yanks the door open. They give you a suspicious look, then jog back the way they came before you can thank them. They evidently don't want to get involved with you. It's good that they're not questioning you, because you have no answers to give. Relieved, you [[step out of the shed.|get out.]]]The fresh air is an improvement, but you're still disoriented. What is this place?
The sky is faint with wisps of clouds drifting above, and the sun's heat hasn't fully hit- it's early morning. A long beige building lined with restaurant signs is on one side of you, and an almost empty parking lot is close by. It's a small plaza.
Do you have business here? . . . Trash that you needed to throw away? You don't remember ever being here before. Where should you be instead? Your gut twists with anxiety. You have no idea where to go, what to do, or even who you are. The only thing you're certain of is a feeling of emptiness. Hands darting around in panic, you [[pat your pockets.]]Your face stares back at you, reflected from the screen. A sharp line is creased between your brows from your frown. Eyebags lie below your dark pupils, harsh triangular planes carved onto your face. Your lips are chapped, and when you part them, you can see your dirty teeth. These features should be known to you. When you see them, you feel no alarm . . . but no awareness that they form your reflection. The person looking back at you is an apathetic stranger.
Upon turning the phone on, the wallpaper displays: a photo of a sunset over a lake surrouunded by trees. It looks pretty, but it's not a work of art. The photo looks familiar, like you've seen it many times before. That lake seems like somewhere you have been before. You're not sure where it is. Swiping up, a grid of numbers pops up and prompts you to enter the password.
[[Examine the wallet closer.]]
(if: $password is true)[[[Enter password: #&@-|wrong pass]]
[[Enter password: 1234]]
[[Enter password: apple22Nofwmb84|wrong pass]]
]The wallet unfolds to reveal multiple pockets and compartments. There are a few [[cards]], a wad of one-dollar bills and some rusty change scattered below them, a [[photograph]], and some [[receipts]].
[[Examine the phone closer.]]A driver's license, a medical insurance card, a debit card, and a credit card are lined up together . They all have the same name on them: (input: bind $name, "==X==", "Jules")You presume it's your name. When you imagine someone calling you that, you feel unfulfilled and distanced, like being lost in a vast and empty room.
[[Rest of the wallet.|Examine the wallet closer.]]
[[Examine the phone closer.]](set: $password to true)It's in one of those shiny white frames from an instant camera. Smelling of nickel and copper, it shows a group of people in a dimly lit room, faces slick and grainy underneath camera lights and disco beams. They're crowded into the frame, arms thrown around each other, some captured with their eyes closed while blinking, some with awkwardly wide smiles. Presumably, you are somewhere in there, because the label at the bottom reads “$handwriting[Night out with Ellis & my favorite people!]”
On the back, some lines are scrawled in sharpie. “$handwriting[Passwords],” “$handwriting[#&@-],” “$handwriting[1234],” “$handwriting[apple22Nofwmb84].”
[[Rest of the wallet.|Examine the wallet closer.]]
[[Examine the phone closer.]]White papers crinkle under your fingers, so crumbled that they can barely be unfolded without tearing. The poor quality black ink rubs off as you move your fingers over them. There are three separate receipts for buying Tylenol and one for Advil. Another receipt shows that you bought five packages of steak.
[[Rest of the wallet.|Examine the wallet closer.]]
[[Examine the phone closer.]] There's no way to enter that password into the phone. Confused and disoriented, you stare at the phone screen for a moment and decide to [[try something else|Examine the phone closer.]].The phone unlocks. There are so many notifications that the top of your screen is entirely filled up, blocking your view of the display, and you're forced to spend a while swiping through the notifications, deleting them in batches. Some of them are spam emails and nothing interesting, but here and there are concerning messages addressed to you. People are asking what you're up to and how you've been feeling.
Overwhelmed by the pings, you ignore all the messages for now and open up the navigation app. The red mark on the map shows where you currently are, and in the recently visited locations tab, you see one labeled “home.”
Apparently, you're at the Agora Central Plaza in the city of Agora. It's not a huge place. In its suburbs, there are quiet neighborhoods where children are raised in identical brown houses and taught not to be scared of the dark. In the city's heart, clusters of apartments and office buildings spring up like weeds competing with each other for sun. A typical city, it's a few miles away from home.
Home is on the other side of a forest, which is divided by many streams and one road. It's in a less densely populated area, with a few neighbors nearby and a small town center but not much else. It's for people who enjoy the simple, peaceful life, unbothered by the turmoil of city life, perhaps more bothered by their nosy neighborhood instead.
You wonder how to get home. Should you [[pay a taxi]] with your limited bills and whatever money may be available through your cards, or should you [[hike through the forest]]?(set: $human to $human + 1)Swiping through the apps on your phone, you find an app with a car icon called Wuber and arrange a ride home. Soon, a sturdy white car arrives for you. The driver tries to make small talk.
“So what do you do?” he asks.
“Uh. Well. A little bit of whatever, I'm still figuring it out.”
You answer to the best of your ability, which is no ability at all. You think about telling him that as far as you know, you enjoyed sleeping on the ground near dumpsters although you had a home to go back to. It's the only fact you know about yourself. You don't say it aloud, sensing it's not the kind of interesting detail he wants to hear. He eventually gives up on talking, and the rest of the drive is silent.
When he drops you off, you thank him with a mutter.
[[Go home.]](set: $monster to $monster + 1)After starting navigation to see the route to your house, you wander away from the plaza. People drift pass you, taking no notice of the dullness in your eyes and the weariness of your movements. Clouds puff up in the sky as you walk on, and eventually, the city fades into forest.
The sky disappears under a thick, jagged line of green treetops. The path forward is winding and often interrupted by fallen logs. Squirrels skitter down tree branches, see you, and freeze in place. Twigs and debris crack loudly under your shoes. Amidst the sweet scent of wood and ferns, your sense of time fades. You grow tired, but you have to keep going. After a long time, the path widens and becomes paved. Glancing down at the map on your phone, you follow its directions until you are in front of your house.
[[Go home.]] It's a small cabin with a creaking porch in the front and a wooden fence surrounding the yard in the back. At first glance, the cabin's sloping roof is made of dark green tiles, but the tiles are brown, just covered in a thin layer of fallen leaves. White paint on the walls has faded to brown. Lying at your feet, covered in dust and prickly pieces of leaf, the doormat reads "You Again?" A brass doorknob and its keyhole await you.
[[Use the key in your pocket.]]With a heavy click and a screech of bolts, the door swings open. You kick off your shoes and stand in the hallway, which is a few feet of hardwood flooring. It's occupied by a shelf that rises to your knees and holds three pairs of shoes, all the same size. Your size, though you don't know what it is. The layout of the house is unclear to you, so you pick a random direction and walk off.
[[Go right.]]
[[Go left.]]Immediately on the right is a kitchen. On the refrigerator, swinging from a magnet that looks too small to hold up its weight, is a calendar. It's open to September. On the square for each day is a labeled drawing of a crescent, a blob, or a circle that shows the moon phase. Checking the date against your phone, you see that it is currently a waxing gibbous. There are stacks of canned food on a counter, and a dirty plate is in the sink.
Continuing to walk, you pass through a dining room and living room. There are two chairs at the dining table. In the living room, a small sofa sits opposite a flat screen TV. Photos of yourself are plastered over the walls. You can see your reflection faintly against the surface of each frame, lined up over your photographed face. In some of the photos, you're sitting with people that look similar to you. They're probably family. You wonder if you're on good terms with them. You can't name any of them. Another photo with a particularly eye-catching engraved frame shows you smiling next to a group of people. They look around your age. You're holding a fish up to the camera.
[[Remember.]]On the left of the hall is a bathroom. On the sink, there's a toothbrush, a cup, mouthwash, and shaving cream. The shower is in a corner. You check behind the double-layered curtain and notice that the tiles could be cleaned better. Framed on the bathroom wall is a canvas with a quote in calligraphy trying to be motivational: "Yesterday you were yourself, tomorrow you will be yourself, who are you today?"
The only bedroom in the house is on the other side of the bathroom. A moderately sized bed with one pillow is between the window and the closet. On the nightstand, you see a stack of books. Looking through them, you see that there's a mix of novels and nonfiction texts. One of them, a wide volume lined with yellow edges, is about beekeeping.
[[Remember.|Remember 2]]On this day at the beach, the waves are barely there, small and gentle, lapping against the edge of the dock. You sit with your friends, legs hanging above the water, laughing at jokes that won't make sense in the morning. A cooler filled with sodas and beers is closed, someone's Marlboro pack left on the lid. It probably belongs to Ellis, although it might also belong to Sam, who is holding the camera. Your fishing equipment is in a box at your feet. The sky is darkening, and you feel great.
[[That's not you anymore.]]As you withdraw from the flash of insight, your head throbs. If you find any Advil in this house- your house- you would be happy to take it.
You continue exploring the cabin. The only bedroom is next to the living room. It has a moderately sized bed with one pillow. The covers are soft and gray. A stack of books is on the nightstand, including one about beekeeping.
Moving on, you step into the [[bathroom]].The faucet runs cold at first, but you figure out the dials and splash some water onto your face. You feel cleaner, but still sore and tired. You want to sit down, because with each heartbeat, pain flares through your ankle. Is that what a sprain feels like? Maybe you hit it on something? Before you can check it out, your phone buzzes.
[[Look at your phone.]]It's your birthday, and your friends are gathered around you. Ellis is clapping, Sam is cheering, and others are crowded around you, all competing to be the most obnoxious singer. Someone hands you a gift, a rectangular package wrapped in butcher paper. Tearing it off eagerly, you see that it's a book about beekeeping. You've always leaned toward hobbies that give you a quiet respite from the busyness of work, activities that make you adventurous and connected to the world around you, and beekeeping is your latest interest. Pleased by the considerate gift and how well your friends know you, you thank your friends wholeheartedly.
[[That's not you anymore.|That's not you anymore 2]]As you withdraw from the flash of insight, your head throbs. If you find any Advil in this house- your house- you would be happy to take it.
You continue exploring the cabin. Next to the bedroom is a living room and dining room. The walls are covered in framed photos of you standing next to others. You have a smile in all of them, but you can't place the occasion on which any of them were taken. Past that is the kitchen. A calendar hanging from the refrigerator catches your eye: it has doodles and labels that tell you the moon phase for each day. Checking the date on your phone, you see that it's waxing gibbous.
Realizing that you're still covered in sweat and dirt, you cross the hall and go back to the [[bathroom]].Dozens of unread messages from "Ellis." Five missed calls. The last one was last night. Despite your persistent silence, Ellis isn't giving up. You scroll through the texts to see that the two of you were complaining about someone. He is, according to Ellis, "a donkey who should stay in the barn." You chuckle, although you're not sure if he deserves it.
The phone vibrates again. You startle so hard that you almost drop it. A new text from Ellis: "$name can you just tell me if you're okay"
[[Text Ellis: things have been weird, idk]]
[[Text Ellis: all good, ive just been home sick]]
[[Don't answer.]](set: $trust to $trust +2)(set: $talk to true)Ellis texts you back:
"Oh wow you actually responded"
"Are you still in town?"
"Lmk if you need anything"
You're relieved that he seems harmless. You do need something. Answers.
[[You keep texting Ellis.]](set: $trust to $trust +1)(set: $talk to true)Ellis responds:
"Too sick to answer the doorbell every time?"
"If you told me earlier I would've brought aspirin"
You're not sure if you're ready to handle a conversation with someone who you're supposed to know.
"haha sry i sleep like 20 hours a day"
"it might be really contagious"
"dont want anyone to come in so they dont get sick"
"i got medication though its fine dw!"
[[You keep texting Ellis.]]"actually can you remind me whens the last time we met up?"
(if: $talk is true) [Ellis says: "Almost a month ago why?"] (else:) [Ellis says: "Figure it out yourself"]
You respond: “ok just thought we could hang out”
The emptiness and disoriented turmoil in you are difficult to describe, but you try to write a message with enough substance to appease Ellis. He seems like someone you can trust, but you’re still unsure. Does he know anything? Does he have a role in this?
You send him more messages:
“been going through a lot lately”
“would be nice to catch up”
[[Ellis is typing . . .|talk to friend]]
(set: $talk to false)Ellis keeps texting you.
"I can SEE you leaving me on read"
"Thought I knew you better than that"
"Fine I'll leave you alone."
. . . You're not sure if you want him to go away.
[[You respond.|You keep texting Ellis.]]Wandering from room to room, you try to recall sleeping in that bed, living in this space, and eating breakfast at that wooden table. One of these chairs must be the one you use, with the other reserved for guests. Or maybe you use both, depending on your mood that day. Your mind is an empty shell, your history the filling that evades you.
You enter all the rooms in the house repeatedly, looking at corners and tight spots that you previously hadn't seen. There are closets to go through, drawers full of kitchen tools and papers, cabinets of tax returns and mementos, and finally, in the space underneath your bed, you find a box with a sticky note attached to it. Its words are in the same handwriting that was on the password paper in your wallet and the writing on the calendar. It says, "$handwriting[Must read.]" (set: $box to 0)
[[Examine the box.|time for lore]]When you flip through the notebook, it naturally falls open to the last used pages, which are creased and bumpy compared to the clean, untouched pages that follow. You scan the contents. They are diary entries written in the same handwriting you've seen many times by now. It must be your own.
Entry 1:
$handwriting[went hiking today, trail was okay, pretty good view, tripped once and fell into a huge mud puddle and got mud all over me but other than that it was good. also i got a bunch of worm things all over me??? like leeches or something like that idk. maybe they live in those mud puddles who knows. had to spend a while pulling them off me. it was gross but it happens haha. pretty moon tonight: big and full and round. went to the dog park earlier today too, it was really fun.]
Entry 2:
$handwriting[not so great today. runny nose, been kind of tired. i think i probably caught a cold last night. whatever. cancelled plans which sucks.]
Entry 3:
$handwriting[boring day, been in bed mostly. i had to call in sick to work.]
Entry 4:
$handwriting[i think it’s getting worse. have been trying to get some housework done or at least read but not much luck.]
Entry 5:
$handwriting[still more pain. im irritable and on edge. my stupid ankle is itchy.]
Entry 6:
$handwriting[okay so i don’t think this is a cold but idk what else. feels really bad, head hurts all the time. bought advil and food tired really tired]
Entry 7:
$handwriting[i’ve been throwing up all day. maybe the steak was bad. sometimes i feel really hungry and then i feel nothing at all. sam makes fun of me for not taking care of myself but isn’t better than me. why is everyone so full of themselves? stupid. so tired. i haven't been in to work for so long. my job is completely screwed over.]
Entry 8:
$handwriting[my entire body hurts. bones and everything it hurts to write. but i don’t really want to talk to anyone, didn’t even call ellis over. spent all day sleeping i think. for some reason there's hair all over the floor and i need to vacuum but im too tired. and i keep noticing new patches of body hair?? im shedding like a cat but still so hairy.]
Entry 9:
$handwriting[that place where those slugs or worms or leeches latched onto my ankle is red. i should get that checked out. will schedule doctor’s checkup soon. i felt better today though.]
Entry 10:
$handwriting[it might be infected but i don’t want to show anyone don’t want to leave the house i hate everything this sucks so much]
Entry 11:
$handwriting[shaved for the first time in a while, you would not believe how much hair there was.]
Entry 12:
$handwriting[i haven’t been sleeping very well recently. bought more advil.]
Entry 13:
$handwriting[nose has finally stopped running, nice.]
Entry 14:
$handwriting[today i watched a really boring show but it was so addictive! one of those dramas where the plot is so obvious but you have to keep going out of some sense of stubbornness. so grateful to whoever invented cough drops and advil.]
Entry 15:
$handwriting[another night of really weird dreams. i woke up today and was confused for a moment, like where am i? im really scared. i’ve been walking into rooms and forgetting why i’m even there, like im just passing through. i keep catching myself staring into space, at nothing. my leg still feels strange but i don’t know, i might wait it out and see if it fixes itself.]
Entry 16:
$handwriting[i'm not sick anymore but im still tired, restless? i’ve been at home for way too long, i need to be out there, get some fresh air, good jog or something etc]
Entry 17:
$handwriting[hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts again why]
Entry 18:
$handwriting[still stuck at home. i'm bored.]
Entry 19:
$handwriting[what does any of it mean. dreams of tadpoles and lights and moths and teeth]
Entry 20:
$handwriting[i should not be taking this much advil i need to watch out watch out watch out there are things in the dark]
Entry 21:
$handwriting[i don’t know what any of that was. my imagination is going wild i think. it’s been ages since i talked to any of the gang, i don’t know what's up with that. maybe i should go back to therapy. i've made such a mess recently]
Entry 22:
$handwriting[WHY it doesn’t make any sense what is any of this today i i i don’t know what i’m doing i keep going through these rooms but everything disappears before my eyes and i can’t think straight, always a headache or i guess these are migraines at this point, im forgetting things……]
Entry 23:
$handwriting[this is useless i want to get out of here im so frustrated but i don't want to leave the house nothing makes sense]
Entry 24:
The heading is there, but nothing is written below Entry 24. These pages are creased and blotted in some areas with ink smears and tear stains.
[[Back to the box.|time for lore]]The napkin's edges are brown and shriveled with a coffee stain. Words are scribbled across it: “$handwriting[darkness 17 was new moon.]”
[[Back to the box.|time for lore]]A mass of black scribbles fill up most of the page, random lines that grow from spikes to spirals to harsh patches that soak through the paper. The page smells strongly because it was drawn in sharpie. Various moon symbols are drawn around this mass, and little wobbly lines surround the rest of it. Red is mixed in with black, thin circles drawn around the wobbly lines. Question marks fill the top left corner.
[[Back to the box.|time for lore]]It’s a printout of a blog post with some parts underlined and circled in marker. The post reads:
[(font: "Rubik")[<span class="rubik-smaller">PSA YOU MUST REBLOG OR YOU’RE A SHEEP THAT LETS PPL DIE BY NEGLIGENCE
I think it's important to share my personal experience with the stages of what I call the lykos infection.
Infection happens on full moon, you get itchiness and fever symptoms.
Waning gibbous and crescent, you get nausea, headache, other bodily aches and pains, hair growth, nail growth, dizziness, increased senses.
New moon through crescent, the fever breaks but I was more tired and in pain.
Crescent and full moon, there’s a lot of confusion, irritability, mood swings, mania, paranoid thinking and delusion, forgetfulness, dissociation, fits of rage, and hunger.
And that’s just the start, at full moon, everything gets worse.
I don’t even want to think about how bad it can get. I have a whole other post about how to break out of the lykos psychosis during full moon, so check that out on my page. It’s also linked in tags.
For everyone that said I was LARPing on the last post, I am not and frankly, that is so insensitive and rude of you to say that I won’t even get into it. This is a very real issue that doesn’t get a lot of coverage, and doctors can’t really help you, especially when you’re into full psychosis, and it’s definitely NOT just a thought. Those parasites are real, and if one gets into you, you HAVE to follow my steps to be safe. Going through that was the worst experience of my life and I almost hope everyone trying to cancel me rn gets it too because there’s no other way of understanding what it’s like.
One last thing- after the second full moon, you're already too late.
Yes, the transformation starts far before that, but once the threshold is crossed, there's no way to turn back. Once the moon rises, there's no "human" anymore. Make sure that you know what to do while there's still something left to save.</span>]]
[[Back to the box.|time for lore]]You rummage through more of your belongings and gradually get tired. Before the night has fully set in, fatigue drags you to the kitchen to scavenge for a meal. Your fridge only contains a plate of leftover medium-rare steak, a big bottle of nausea medicine, and questionably wilted vegetables. You devour a few chunks of steak, then crawl into bed. Lying there, staring into the growing darkness, you toss and turn.
[[Try to sleep.]]Despite the darkness blocking the windows and drifting into the room, you still can't fall asleep. Sighing, you turn in bed again, open your eyes, and look into the opaque emptiness before you. The tang of pine and columbine floats in from outside. You think, deliriously, of running. Sleepiness drains away from you, slipping away like water, to your frustration. It might be nice to go outside. You think about wandering through the forest and its silent fragrance, leaving the house's confines and getting purposefully lost. Or you could stay in bed and avoid ruining your sleep schedule.
[[Go outside.|skulking around forest]]
[[Stay inside.|not skulking around forest]] In the morning, you go through the motions of a normal life. It's boring. You vacuum the floor, sweep leaves off your porch, wipe some counters, and look through your closet to see if everything is in order. You know how to do these chores. It's muscle memory. Unimportant. Most of your time today is spent in apprehension of tomorrow, when you will meet Ellis.
He knows you well, better than you currently know yourself. What if you act in the wrong way? You don't know how to be yourself right now. Maybe he knows how, but the "you" that is visible in the newly cleaned mirror seems more like a skin that you're trapped in.
Searching for something to do and trying to get a grip on yourself, you look for things around the house that interest you. You come up with a photo of you and your friends, a pocket knife, and a pair of running shoes that you think looks nice. All three items are pleasant to you, but you particularly like one of them.
[[Your favorite item is the photo.]]
[[Your favorite item is the knife.]]
[[Your favorite item is the pair of shoes.]]Ellis observes you warily. "Is it something serious?"
"Nah, I'm getting over it. I'm here now, aren't I? It was bad for a while, but I'm back."
He frowns, not believing you. "You were sick? Are you contagious?"
. . . Are you? You start babbling. "Just a really bad fever. I was lying at home for a while. Don't worry though, you won't catch anything from me. I'm doing great now."
Smiling to reassure him, you take a bite of your sandwich- and almost gag. The bread tastes stale and dusty, and the smell of something in it- maybe it's the pickles or the sauce- makes you want to throw all of it away. But Ellis has the same sandwich, and he's chomping on it like nothing is happening, so you [[continue eating]].(set: $trust to $trust +1)Ellis is startled and has more questions for you. "Nothing at all? Where you live? What your name is?"
"I figured those out, but the rest is gone."
"But you remember me?"
You say the description that you have gathered from your little remaining fragments of memory. "I know that you're one of my closest friends."
He is happy that you know that and tries to help you by telling you anecdotes. He talks about things you've done together and what you've told him about your life. He reasonably suggests going to the doctor, and you say that you will, although you don't actually plan on it. You don't think a doctor is going to understand what you're going through right now, but you don't let the distrust show on your face. Instead, you nod along to the stories that Ellis is telling.
Smiling to reassure him, you take a bite of your sandwich- and almost gag. The bread tastes stale and dusty, and the smell of something in it- maybe it's the pickles or the sauce- makes you want to throw it in the trash. But Ellis has the same sandwich, and he's chomping on it like nothing is happening, so you [[continue eating]]."Have you been over to Agora recently?" Ellis asks.
You sputter, surprised that he knows. "Yeah, a few days ago. Why?"
Ellis shrugged. "I heard that a guy over there got messed up bad a while ago. Saw it on the news. He was in really bad condition. I don't remember what actually happened to him, but be careful. Hopefully they don't find his body in a dumpster or anything."
You take a chug of your coffee, confused and alarmed. You feel a little warm, and it's not just the hot coffee. Your cheeks are heated. You hope the fever doesn't return. The lights overhead are bright and loud and overwhelming.
"Point is," Ellis continues, "Don't wander around while you're feeling weird, $name. You never know what will happen if you're unaware of your surroundings."
You nod along, but you're feeling too aware of your surroundings right now. The people around you are chattering and slurping their drinks, and the noises are distracting. Your eyes dart to the door and back to Ellis. It would be great to go somewhere less crowded so you can gather yourself, but Ellis seems comfortable here.
[[Keep talking.]](set: $human to $human +1)The photo is in a small white frame that can be propped up into a stand. There are four people in the photo dressed in semi-formal clothing, each holding up a certificate of some sort in front of them. They're lined up neatly. The photo makes you feel content.
Not hurried along by your worried thoughts, [[tomorrow comes along|talk to friend in person]].(set: $monster to $monster +1)The knife is well polished. Its black handle, curved at the bottom for a better grip, has a brown label attached to it. The brand name is meaningless to you, but the knife has a sturdy blade of good construction. The blade's many facets converge into a sleek point. You run your fingers along it carefully, checking its bluntness. This pocket knife makes you feel safe.
Not hurried along by your worried thoughts, [[tomorrow comes along|talk to friend in person]].It feels good to catch up with Ellis. In a way, this makes you feel more comfortable, because you have a way to tell what's going on. At the same time, something about the situation is getting under your skin. Literally, you feel itchy all over with the urge to get out of the crowded public space. As your anxiety builds, so does your anger. Why do you feel so uncomfortable for no apparent reason? You want to sit here and enjoy some food with your buddy, but your brain refuses to get the message and behave. You're also mad at the cafe itself for being such a sensory nightmare and the other patrons for being annoying with their clanging forks and wet chewing and obnoxiously high voices.
Even Ellis gets on your nerves. With his many stories that reference intangible pasts, you feel like you're trying to catch a ball and only touching its shadow, or trying to wipe away drops of water on the other side of a glass window. It feels like he's taunting you for not being able to remember. An hour into your talk, you really want to get out.
[[Abruptly leave the cafe.]]
[[Give an excuse and go outside.]]
[[Push through the feeling and keep talking to Ellis.]](set: $human to $human +1)Even though you feel terrible, you keep sitting there, forcing a smile on your face. Your headache pounds at the front of your head, and your muscles ache, especially at your ankle. Eventually, Ellis runs out of things to say. Exhausted, you say goodbye, hoping that he hasn't noticed how draining this experience was for you.
[[Go home.|Home After Cafe]]"Sorry, I don't feel great right now. I need to go outside for a minute," you say.
Concerned, Ellis follows you out. He asks you what's wrong, but you can't explain it.
"I'm a bit overwhelmed. Maybe I'm still sick. I think I overexerted myself."
He wants you to get back inside the cafe so he can get you a glass of water, but you refuse, saying that you want to leave immediately. Ellis doesn't know what to do. He asks if you need him to help you get home.
"No, I'll be fine." Although you don't feel steady, you need to be alone.
So you leave him standing there, worried about you again.
[[Go home.|Home After Cafe]](set: $monster to $monster +1)You can't take it anymore. Your headache hammers against your skull. Without saying a word to Ellis, you push back your chair and slam open the door of the cafe. Ignoring how he calls out to you, you flee the scene, hands over your ears. You can't breathe right until you've left the plaza and entered the forest, where it's quiet and no eyes can see you.
[[Go home.|Home After Cafe]](track: 'default', 'stop')(track: 'intense', 'loop', true)(track: 'intense', 'play')Once you get home, you go to the backyard, wanting to get more fresh air. Something that Ellis said floats around your head.
" . . . hopefully they don't find his body in a dumpster . . . "
Pacing in circles around your backyard, you end up in front of your garbage cans. You lift the heavy lid of one of the cans.
[[Look inside your trash can.|potential murder]]You're not sure where you want to be as you hurtle down the path into the forest. It doesn't matter. You take a turn off the path and keep running, desperate to get away from it all. Wind throws itself into your face, branches leaving thin scratches on your arms. You trip over a branch and land onto a bush, branches and stiff leaves jutting into your face. When you get up and look around, you're lost.
The woods are spinning around you, or actually, that's in your head. Dizzied from the strain and on the verge of throwing up, you bend over, clutching your chest, gasping for breath.
From beyond the trees, a low howl emerges.
It gets louder and louder, then is replaced by growls and barks. A large creature is coming your way, shuffling over fallen branches, shaking the leaves. You're frozen in place and afraid to see what it is.
[[You can't move.|encounter with the beast]]Shaking- you can't tell if it's from fear or cold- you crawl into bed and squeeze your eyes shut, holding your hands over your head. You're breathing too fast, each exhale coming like a hand is wringing it from your throat. You pass out.
When you wake up, you're not sure whether it was a dream. Was it mere sleepwalking? Are any of these memories real? Your entire body is sore. Getting out of bed, you check the calendar. It's the day before full moon.
What you found in the woods last night was a monster. You've lived here a long time and are used to taking walks through the nearby area, but you've never seen anything like that before. Something about that beast was also human-like. Its eyes flash through your mind's eye. You think back to the blog post you read in the box under your bed. When the full moon comes, there is no return.
[[It's time to prepare yourself.|waxing gibbous]](set: $monster to $monster + 1)(set: $status to "meat")It's a quick trip over to the grocery store to buy meat. You fill your shopping basket with raw chicken, lamb, pork, and beef. Anything you can get your hands on. Ignoring the cashier's upbeat small talk, you pay and make your way back home.
The day of the full moon arrives. Time goes by slowly, filled with dread and wariness, but nothing happens the entire day. Then, as the sun goes down, you get restless. You're so impatient that it feels like your skin is itching. You step into your backyard, taking the basket of meat with you. You don't cook it. You don't think that you need to.
[[Wait for the moon to rise.]](set: $status to "aid")You find a convenience store nearby and buy a first aid kit. It has a tourniquet set, gloves, many sets of bandages and bandaids, and gauze. You go back home, reassured that the materials will help you stay safe.
The day of the full moon arrives. Time goes by slowly, filled with dread and wariness, but nothing happens the entire day. Then, as the sun goes down, you get restless. You're so impatient that it feels like your skin is itching. You step into your backyard, taking the first aid kit with you, taking care to open it so that its contents are easily within your reach.
[[Wait for the moon to rise.]](set: $human to $human + 1)(set: $status to "photo")You search your cabinets for the thickest photo album you have. Finally, you drag one out that is so heavy you strain to lift it. It's like a talisman for you. A good luck charm. You want it to remind you of all the happy memories you've had.
The day of the full moon arrives. Time goes by slowly, filled with dread and wariness, but nothing happens the entire day. Then, as the sun goes down, you get restless. You're so impatient that it feels like your skin is itching. You step into your backyard, taking the album with you. Flipped to the center page, its photos gaze at you as you wait.
[[Wait for the moon to rise.]](set: $ellis to true)(set: $status to "ellis")(set: $human to $human +1)You can tell from the tone of his voice that Ellis is confused, but his schedule is clear, and he agrees to come over the next day. He assures you that everything will be okay.
The day of the full moon arrives. Time goes by slowly, filled with dread and wariness, but nothing happens. Ellis waits around your house, and you flip through books and play card games together. Then, as the sun goes down, you get restless. You're so impatient that it feels like your skin is itching. You step into your backyard, Ellis following you. He pats you on the back, uncertain but still steady, as you wait.
[[Wait for the moon to rise.]](track: 'default', 'stop')(track: 'intense', 'play')As the sky darkens, then brightens again with the pale, ghostly light of the moon, you stare up, entranced. The moon seems so heavy tonight, looming above you like a large eye, perfectly circular. As the light pierces your pupils, a sharp pain splits you open.
It's like your bones are melting inside of you. The world starts turning into tunnels and spirals. It looks like what you saw when Sam gave you something that sent you on a bad trip . . . hey, there's a memory. You want to laugh and cry at the same time. (if: $ellis is true)[Ellis has one hand outstretched to you, watching your sudden movements. You grimace at him, helpless.]
The beast in the forest. That could be you, forever. It's repulsive, no longer part of humankind, never being able to see or remember any of its friends again. But would that be so bad? The parasites taking you as their host makes you feel powerful in a unique way. The feeling you have now is singular. It makes you breathless and takes you on such a rush that you think you can do anything, as if with one sweep of your hand, you can collapse the sky. Even though you're in pain, you feel stronger. You've done terrible but exciting things. If the infection fully took over you, you wouldn't have to try anymore. You could live an eternity in the forest, in the brutal peace of wilderness, free from the constraints and neuroticisms of human life.
You want to be yourself, and that means . . .
[[You want to be human.]]
[[You want to be a monster.]]
[[You want to find a compromise.]](track: 'default', 'stop')(track: 'intense', 'play'){(set:$human to $human + 1)(if: $human - $monster >1)[You don't have to let this sickness take hold of you. Your greatest wish is to return to a normal life. The parasite lashes out, giving you waves of agony, but you resist it.
<br>[[You are more than your wrath.]]
]}{
(else-if:$monster - $human >2)[Haven't you done enough? Aren't you a good person? You strain with all your might to remember who you are and to take back your senses. Outside this house, there is a life in the sun. People wander through the streets, worry about their jobs, and happily go to bed. In other times, you have seen the smile on Ellis' face and heard the laughter of your friends. But something in you crumbles. You can't resist this. Didn't you know?
<br>[[You were a monster all along.]]
]}{(else:)[Haven't you done enough? Aren't you a good person? You strain with all your might to remember who you are and to take back your senses. Your greatest wish is to return to a normal life. The parasite lashes out, giving you waves of agony, and you try to resist, but you can't take complete victory. Its hold on you is too strong, and always, there will be a part of it inside you.
<br>[[This curse might be yours to keep, but you can control it.]]
]}{(set:$monster to $monster + 1)(if: $monster - $human >1)[That's right. It's so easy to go with the flow. The instincts in you are rising to the surface, drawn by the moonlight. Your mind is feverish, collapsing and unfolding, and suddenly you understand.
<br>[[You've been a monster all along.]] ]}{
(else-if: $human - $monster > 2)[You're so sick of your stupid life. What's been the point of all this, these useless routines and nauseating, repetitive days? You want to escape so badly. But you can't. Something within you still won't break.
<br>[[You are tethered to this human existence.]]]}{
(else:)[The instincts in you are rising to the surface, drawn by the moonlight. Your mind is feverish, collapsing and unfolding. But something within you will not yield.
<br>[[You are not entirely a monster yet.]]]
}(track: 'default', 'stop')(track: 'intense', 'play'){(if: $monster - $human > 3)[You want control over this sinister parasite within you, but its grip is too strong. You can't negotiate with it. Your mind is feverish, collapsing and unfolding, and suddenly you understand.
<br>[[You've been a monster all along.|monster mildly resistant]]
]}{
(else-if: $human - $monster >3)[You're sick of your pointless, repetitive life. This parasite gives you the thrill of danger and a wild, sick joy. With a little control over its urges, you could have balance. But you can't. Something in you still won't break.
<br>[[You are tethered to this human existence.|human mildly resistant]]
]}{
(else:)[Yes, you can seek control over what ails you and find balance with it. This parasite makes you see beyond the borders of your dismal life, and though you do not want it to destroy you, you also don't want to cast it away forever. Without it, you would be stuck in a miserable routine that makes you feel trapped. Existing in a constant struggle with the parasite, forever resisting the chance of transformation under the moon and aware of the tensions within you, balancing on a wobbling scale, would be exhausting, but it would also satisfy you.
<br>[[You can find control over this power.]]
]}(track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'end', 'play')Something is crawling under your skin. It multiplies and divides and multiplies, occupying space in your veins, crawling along gaps between your bones. It worms into your brain. You can barely breathe. The rush of violent energy intoxicates you. You are the force of the wind at night. You are the distant howl that raises goosebumps on the skin of lost travelers. Your skin stretches and cracks as the parasites rewrite your DNA, molding you into their vessel. Fur sprouts along your spine, and your face distorts itself beyond recognition, pulled into a snout. Under the full moon, you are in your full glory.
(if: $status is "meat")[The scent of raw meat drifts through the air. Turning your gaze to the packages, you devour one after another. It doesn't matter what the meat belonged to. All you know is that you want to eat, and you will do anything for it.](else-if: $status is "aid")[A pile of human objects lie in front of you. With a flick of your paws, you knock them aside. There's no need for that anymore.](else-if: $status is "photo")[A human object lies in front of you, showing indecipherable, confusing images of people. With a flick of your paws, you knock it aside. There's no need for that anymore.](else-if: $status is "ellis")[The human is still standing in front of you. He smells like fear. Good. He should be afraid. There is no more empathy in you and no more shame. You lunge for him.]
Finally, you don't have to run from what you are.
[[The end.]](track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'end', 'play')No matter how much you long to run free among the trees and the unmarked paths, to slink through the city gutters and terrorize the people that you could never belong to, your transformation into a full beast will not continue. The parasites have deemed you an unworthy host, too hesitant to hunt and not willing to bite others to pass on the infection. Their influence drains from your mind. Your memories come rushing back. You fall to your knees, despairing the loss, because now, you can never escape.
(if: $status is "meat")[The meat packages are in a pile near you. It will be an aggravating and bitter task to cook them to eat later.](else-if: $status is "aid")[The first aid kit is there to help you. Grabbing a role of bandages from within, you check yourself for signs of injury. You think, if you were a real werewolf, you wouldn't be so weak.](else-if: $status is "photo")[The photo album stares up at you with rows of familiar faces. You pick it up reluctantly, disappointed that you are not truly free in the way that you want, but you could never abandon your family after all.](else-if: $status is "ellis")[Ellis smiles at you. "Is everything okay now, $name?" You confirm that it will be alright. You're bitterly disappointed that you haven't changed in the way that you want, but at least this way, you won't hurt Ellis.]
Tomorrow will be another day of an ordinary life.
[[The end.]](track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'end', 'play')Something is crawling under your skin. It multiplies and divides and multiplies, occupying space in your veins, crawling along gaps between your bones. But it does not worm into your brain, and you are still yourself. There is too much human conscience left in you to abandon the city for the forest. Though you will keep yearning to be among the trees and beasts like yourself, you will preserve your human body and life. You are not entirely safe from the parasites causing you to act on violent instincts, but for the most part, you will be in control of your existence. The lost memories come flooding back, and you remember who you are.
(if: $status is "meat")[The scent of raw meat drifts through the air. You feel hungry, but you can't eat them like that. Later, you will cook them.](else-if: $status is "aid")[The first aid kit is there to help you. Grabbing a role of bandages, you check yourself for signs of injury.](else-if: $status is "photo")[The photo album seems more endearing to you now that you can fully recognize the faces. You hug it to your chest, somewhat disappointed that you are not truly free in the way that you want, but you could never abandon your family.](else-if: $status is "ellis")[Ellis smiles at you. "Is everything okay now, $name?" You confirm that it will be alright. You may not be the powerful creature that you wanted to be, but at least this way, you won't hurt Ellis.]
You are not just a monster or a human, but you truly know yourself now.
[[The end.]](track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'end', 'play')Something is crawling under your skin. It multiplies and divides and multiplies, occupying space in your veins, crawling along gaps between your bones. It worms into your brain. You can barely breathe. You bend over and claw at your skin, fighting for control, grasping for clarity, but you can't win the struggle. Your consciousness surrenders to the parasites. The rush of violent energy intoxicates you. You are the force of the wind at night. You are the distant howl that raises goosebumps on the skin of lost travelers. Your skin stretches and cracks as the parasites rewrite your DNA, molding you into their vessel. Fur sprouts along your spine, and your face distorts itself beyond recognition, pulled into a snout. Under the full moon, you are lost.
(if: $status is "meat")[The scent of raw meat drifts through the air. Turning your gaze to the packages, you devour one after another. It doesn't matter what the meat belonged to. All you know is that you want to eat, and you will do anything for it.](else-if: $status is "aid")[A pile of human objects lie in front of you. With a flick of your paws, you knock them aside. There's no need for that anymore.](else-if: $status is "photo")[A human object lies in front of you, showing indecipherable, confusing images of people. With a flick of your paws, you knock it aside. There's no need for that anymore.](else-if: $status is "ellis")[The human is still standing in front of you. He smells like fear. Good. He should be afraid. There is no more empathy in you and no more shame. You lunge for him.]
Finally, you don't have to run from what you are.
[[The end.]](track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'end', 'play')Part of you longs to run free among the trees and the unmarked paths, to slink through the city gutters and terrorize the people that you could never belong to. It's not meant to be. The parasites have deemed you an unworthy host, too hesitant to hunt and not willing to bite others to pass on the infection. Their influence drains from your mind. Your memories come rushing back, but it feels like a part of you has been carved out. You collapse to the ground, shivering, in your fully human body.
(if: $status is "meat")[The meat packages are in a pile near you. You will have to take them back inside to eat later.](else-if: $status is "aid")[The first aid kit is there to help you. Grabbing a role of bandages from within, you check yourself for signs of injury. You think, if you were a real werewolf, you wouldn't be so weak.](else-if: $status is "photo")[The photo album stares up at you with rows of familiar faces. You pick it up reluctantly, disappointed that you are back to your typical existence, but you could never abandon your family after all.](else-if: $status is "ellis")[Ellis smiles at you. "Is everything okay now, $name?" You confirm that it will be alright. You may not be the powerful creature that you wanted to be, but at least this way, you won't hurt Ellis.]
Tomorrow will be another day of an ordinary life.
[[The end.]](track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'end', 'play')Something is crawling under your skin. It multiplies and divides and multiplies, occupying space in your veins, crawling along gaps between your bones. But it does not worm into your brain, and you are still yourself. There is too much human conscience left in you to abandon the city for the forest. Though you will keep the yearning to be among the trees and beasts like yourself, you will preserve your human body and life. You are not entirely safe from the parasites causing you to act on violent instincts, but for the most part, you will be in control of your existence. The lost memories come flooding back, and you remember who you are.
(if: $status is "meat")[The scent of raw meat drifts through the air. Turning your gaze to the packages, you feel hungry, but you can't eat them like that. Later, you will cook them.](else-if: $status is "aid")[The first aid kit is there to help you. Grabbing a role of bandages from within, you check yourself for signs of injury.](else-if: $status is "photo")[The photo album seems more endearing to you now that you can fully recognize the faces. You hug it to your chest, relieved that you did not abandon your family.](else-if: $status is "ellis")[Ellis smiles at you. "Is everything okay now, $name?" You confirm that it will be alright. You feel both the power of rage and the strength of your stability.]
You are not just a monster or a human, but you truly know yourself now.
[[The end.]](track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'end', 'play')You are not the monster desperate to emerge within you. As you reach for the memory of who you are, the memories suddenly come bursting through. You see yourself growing up, going to school, becoming disillusioned and finding yourself again, and walking through the forest on a moonlit night. The parasite surrenders under your determination.
Their influence drains from your mind. You stand proudly by yourself, having purged the danger.
(if: $status is "meat")[The meat packages are in a pile near you. You can take them back inside to eat later. Finally, you can eat without hunting.](else-if: $status is "aid")[The first aid kit is there to help you. Grabbing a role of bandages, you check yourself for signs of injury.](else-if: $status is "photo")[The photo album stares up at you with rows of familiar faces. You hug it tightly. You can finally be with your family again.](else-if: $status is "ellis")[Ellis smiles at you. "Is everything okay now, $name?" You confirm that it will be alright. You are yourself again.]
Tomorrow will be another day of an ordinary life.
[[The end.]](track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'end', 'play')This is your last chance to take back your own mind and body. You try to push back against the fever and the pain, but they are overwhelming. Something is crawling under your skin. It multiplies and divides and multiplies, occupying space in your veins, crawling along gaps between your bones. It worms into your brain. You can barely breathe. The rush of violent energy overtakes you. You are the force of the wind at night. You are the distant howl that raises goosebumps on the skin of lost travelers. Your skin stretches and cracks as the parasites rewrite your DNA, molding you into their vessel. Fur sprouts along your spine, and your face distorts itself beyond recognition, pulled into a snout. Under the full moon, you are transformed.
(if: $status is "meat")[The scent of raw meat drifts through the air. Turning your gaze to the packages, you devour one after another. It doesn't matter what the meat belonged to. All you know is that you want to eat, and you will do anything for it.](else-if: $status is "aid")[A pile of human objects lie in front of you. With a flick of your paws, you knock them aside. There's no need for that anymore.](else-if: $status is "photo")[A human object lies in front of you, showing indecipherable, confusing images of people. With a flick of your paws, you knock it aside. There's no need for that anymore.](else-if: $status is "ellis")[The human is still standing in front of you. He smells like fear. Good. He should be afraid. There is no more empathy in you and no more shame. You lunge for him.]
You can't run from what you are.
[[The end.]](track: 'intense', 'stop')(track: 'end', 'play')The parasite crawls under your skin. It multiplies and divides and multiplies, occupying space in your veins, crawling along gaps between your bones. But it does not worm into your brain, and you are still yourself. There is too much human conscience left in you to abandon the city for the forest. It protects you and preserves your human life. At the same time, part of you yearns to find peace between the trees, wandering like a beast. You are not entirely safe from the parasites causing you to act on violent instincts, but for the most part, you will be in control of your existence. The lost memories come flooding back, and you remember who you are.
(if: $status is "meat")[The scent of raw meat drifts through the air. You feel hungry, but you can't eat them like that. Later, you will cook them.](else-if: $status is "aid")[The first aid kit is there to help you. Grabbing a role of bandages, you check yourself for signs of injury.](else-if: $status is "photo")[The photo album seems more endearing to you now that you can fully recognize the faces. You hug it to your chest, relieved that you did not abandon your family.](else-if: $status is "ellis")[Ellis smiles at you. "Is everything okay now, $name?" You confirm that it will be alright. You feel both the power of rage and the strength of your stability.]
You are not just a monster or a human, but you truly know yourself now.
[[The end.]]default: ./music/Crypto.mp3, ./music/Crypto.ogg
intense: ./music/SCP-x2x.mp3, ./music/SCP-x2x.ogg
end: ./music/Lasting-Hope.mp3, ./music/Lasting-Hope.ogg
These running shoes seem well-worn because you can see a bit of roughness at the toe and on either side of the heel. They are a myriad of colors, gray mixed into neon yellow and dotted with cyan. The soles, once white, are now stained yellow. You test the flexibility of the soles and wonder which shoes you were wearing on the night you went into the forest and catalyzed the chain of events that would make you lose your memory. The shoes make you feel centered.
Not hurried along by your worried thoughts, [[tomorrow comes along|talk to friend in person]].(set: $hasplayed to true)Thank you for playing.
(live:1s)[Whether you made it out as a human or were transformed by the parasite, I hope you enjoyed playing The Lykos Infection.
- Lichen
[[Play again.|A new month begins]]
[[Credits.]]]Made with Twine (Harlowe 3.3.9)
Script by Lichen (https://lunarlichen.itch.io/)
Music:
"Crypto" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
"SCP-x2x (Unseen Presence)" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
"Lasting Hope" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Fonts:
Rubik by Philipp Hubert and Sebastian Fischer at Hubert & Fischer
Mynerve by Carolina Short(if: $hasplayed is true)[
[[Play again.|A new month begins]]
](track: 'end', 'stop')A new month [[begins...|Beginning]]It’s covered in blood, dried almost to black and so crusted that when you touch it, your fingers come away clean. Except you know that there’s still blood under your nails. Your hands have been dirtied for days. When are you going to feel clean again? As you raise the cloth closer to your face to inspect it, the faintest whiff of iron hits your nose, and you catch hold of a memory.
In darkness broken by blurred street lights, you are running. Your hands touch skin. Your nails scrape through flesh. Your teeth bite down. Blood bursts in your mouth. The hunger is not yet sated. Wind in your lungs. Screaming. Footsteps. Your teeth are shaped wrong. They're made perfectly to catch your prey. There’s a man looking up at you, terrified, and you’re so, so hungry.
You remember. You know you do.
Where did you get this cloth?
[[It's the man's shirt, I tore it while stopping myself from chasing him.]]
[[It’s the man’s shirt, I tore off a piece but he escaped from me.]]
[[It’s the man’s shirt, there was nothing else left of him after I finished eating.]](set: $hasplayed to false)[[New Game.|Beginning]]
[[Credits.]]